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There were Peter Pan Syndrome–afflicted man-children, full-fledged adult males with zero desire to grow up, maybe ever. ” If you’re a single, heterosexual woman of a certain age living in New York City, you’ve surely heard some version of the lament more times than you can count: “There are no good single men living in New York City! ” It’s followed by various tales of woe regarding “typical NYC jerks” and the evils they have inflicted upon amazing, upstanding, attractive, intelligent, high-powered New York City women who are so much better than the men they date. Maybe saying and hearing this makes single women feel better. There are more women than men, which everyone loves to bemoan as the cold, hard cornerstone of this city’s relationship difficulties. Census, which, it bears mentioning, does not ask to identify sexual orientation.There were drunks and drug addicts and maybe once a teetotaler. There was a clammer from Cape Cod—a real, live clammer, with his very own waders. You’ve probably met more than a few aesthetically, shall we say, “uneven” couples, in which the man is short, pudgy, bald—or distractingly hirsute—with one of those pudding faces only a mother (or gold-digger) could love. And you’ve probably heard, and maybe retold, the modern-day relationship folk tale of that friend of a friend who, after “unsuccessfully” dating in New York for years, met her amazing husband while living or vacationing in Austin, or Boston, or Paris, or Rio, and then brought him back—or moved there herself. It enforces the belief that there is such a thing as a “plight” of the single lady, and that women can’t be blamed for our lack of success in the New York City relationship game. According to statistics collected by Richard Florida, author of The Great Reset and director of the Martin Prosperity Institute at the University of Toronto, single women currently outnumber single men in New York by 149,219. The good news: This number has actually decreased from 2008’s woman-surplus of 210,000, a gap that caused Lysandra Ohrstrom, writing for the Observer, to unleash the ominous decree that “savvy, well-educated women hoping to find a mate and settle down are out of luck.” Meanwhile, our fine city was recently ranked the top spot for single men to find a willing lady to smooch, and whatever else, on New Year’s Eve, according to more numbers from Mr. We were named number one of 2010’s top 29 cities for dudes to live in: a/k/a “paradise for men,” according to gratuitous macho website Ask Chatting, talking on the phone, sending emails and getting to know new people have been very important for me and very rewarding emotionally speaking.You talk to people more that you would imagine, you confide in them more that you would expect.Thanks to Gleeden I live moments of real happiness every day and I spice up my routine" "I have been a member of Gleeden since February.I’m in a relationship with kids and I tend to consider myself as being “in crisis”. I’ve had platonic, friendly, love relationships, in different places.The only people I know who are under 30 and live in New York and are married are other lawyers — something I suspect ties into an existing risk-aversion, desire for stability and personal (not political) conservatism amongst people who go into law, as well as the fact that the people I know from law school and work have entered into steady careers that make marriage and family more feasible.

I don’t have time to click through every state in the American Community Survey, but I’m going to wager a guess that we also lead the nation in never-married men.

So why are all the headlines focused on single ladies?

Folks are saying that New York is a terrible place to move if you’re looking to get hitched, and I suppose that’s true if you’re 22 and want to get married tomorrow.

The self-described “bi-coastal but not in a gay way” guy who didn’t come home one night because he’d passed out in a planter underneath the Manhattan Bridge. “He doesn’t deserve you,” they would say, my own Greek chorus.

(We continued to date for at least a month after that.) Their ages have ranged from nearly 15 years younger than me to going on 15 years older. “You’re so much better than him.” Then, inevitably: “Why are New York men such assholes? New York City, to be fair, suffers its share of problems for the female dater.

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