Questions to ask a man when you first start dating

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The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.

Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent.

The trick to successfully vetting a prospect on a first date, while simultaneously keeping the energy light and fun, is knowing what questions to ask and how to ask them. What are their likes and dislikes, what do you have in common, what does he or she do in their spare time?

For example, work, his or her family, hobbies, pop culture, and favorite music are all surefire bets. If you’re savvy, you’ll realize that certain questions–even the most basic ones—have the ability to tell a lot about a person.

"You start these questions the first day you meet," he says.

"I don't care if it's at the club, at church, whatever." Don't worry…Steve says if a man really wants you, these questions won't scare him off.

What do you do, and how long have you been doing it?

The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.

This is torture.” She thinks, “Why doesn’t he ask me any questions? But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.

Four things to ask her or him about on a first date? Here, we’ve divided your hypothetical first date into five phases and suggested a series of questions to ask your date during each.

These questions are key primers, the ones to ask after you’ve said hello, and settled in somewhere comfortable.

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